Hum do, hamare ... NO NO.

 

This is not about whether you should have the second kid or not. It's my experience of planning for a second kid. 

Why second child is always the first question, except your relatives in function or that uncle in WhatsApp who is worried about Hindu population. Ask your friends around, they can point to a zillion reason why second child, is not their option. More expenses, school fees, family cannot fit in a single row in a flight. So why did I plan for a second child, yes it was a planned decision. 

My family picture is a father, mother and two kids. 

That's it. 

The reason sounds emotional, it is too, but sticking to that decision is most difficult. Seeing your elder kid, throw the tantrums, you getting frustrated on your spouse. Thinking should I raise another child with this person, already I'm handling two kids in the house. Wondering if the wife can handle the birthing stress, wondering if you can handle her during pregnancy. Do you guys collective have the patience? I was not sure then. 

Hospital loot you. Can you really trust the doctor? All the answers formed the black clouds, around the idea. But the idea persisted, when the elder took amazing care of younger kids around, when the kid started being more independent - eat on his own, sleep without a fight. The light from the family picture,  was shining bright. The aura around the black clouds, lit up which gave hope. A hope that this family picture is worth getting complete. 

When the first kid is born, most men tear up in the operation theatre or when they hold the kid in their hands,me included. For the second kid, even with few complications, i wasn't teary eyed. It was after when I got the baby home and seeing my elder kid play with makes me love them more. Makes me a softy inside seeing them. 

The family picture is complete now, but the questions remain school fees are high, airlines seats are only 3 now. 

Dekh lenge. 

Hum do, hamare do hai na.